Module: Exit Strategies

Introduction to Module

When I suffered from social anxiety, it wasn’t getting into conversations that I wanted to learn. Gosh no, it was how to get out of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I needed a masterclass on dealing with interactions, but it certainly wasn’t my main objective.

With a soft voice, a people pleasing persona, and a symptomatic nervous smile, I had no trouble accidentally inviting unwanted conversations. My trouble was shutting the thing down.

People would interpret my smile to mean I was having fun, and this resulted in my spending too long in each interaction. Worse still, when a chit chat would approach its natural conclusion, awkwardness would set in and I inadvertently kept the conversation going.

One time, I got stuck in small talk with a checkout clerk for over 45 minutes. I don’t even remember the conversation because I was knitting in my head the whole time.

Before long, I learnt that it was better to avoid conversations than to get stuck in one, and I became an avoider. That is until I learnt some nifty emergency exit strategies.

As you can see, age has been kind to me and has gifted me with a great resting face `cue rbf`. No doubt this has made it easier to deflect conversations, but it’s not always appropriate to scare people with demon eyes, so it helps to have some non-threatening strategies stuffed in your bra. That’s what this training module is all about: how to exit any conversation with ease and grace.

If you’re anything like I was, and need some guidance on shutting down those pesky conversations, you are in the right place. When you’re ready to begin the lessons, click with your right trigger finger to get started.

Lesson 1: Avoiding conversation

In this lesson I’m going to teach you the art of avoiding conversation. I know, I know, I said I was going to teach you exit strategies, not how to be a social avoider, but bear with me for a moment.

When I talk about avoiding conversation, I’m not talking about hiding behind a lamp post until the chatty clerk leaves for lunch.

Which I have never done in my life … ever… I mean, there was this one time, but… It doesn’t matter. The point is, there are times when one simply wants to be left alone. To be able to buy a couple of spuds without a rehash of your plans this evening. And let’s be real, nobody wants to hear about the willy warming wifronts I’m knitting for my ageing father.

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